TOASTERS ARE ON THE WATER... GET YOURS NOW

The Greatest Joke
Ever Told On Toast.

A highly engineered, fully updateable platform for your morning carbs.

Get Your Setup

Absurd Idea. Flawless Execution.

Let's be completely honest: you are buying a toaster to make someone eat a face... or something that is going to make them laugh. It is a kitschy, beautiful joke. But unlike most gag gifts that end up in a landfill, this is a custom-engineered platform ready for the next joke.

Why This Actually Works

  • 1. It's a Hilarious Joke Yes, it's a gag. But when you push the lever down, our proprietary internal rails physically hug the bread against the hot metal FacePlate™ for a flawless burn. The reaction is priceless.
  • 2. It's Fully Updateable and Family Friendly The hardware stays on your counter, but the stainless steel art slides right out. Swap in the dog, your boss, the kids, or the bride and groom. The joke never actually gets old.
  • 3. It's the Ultimate Swag Stop giving your clients branded pens. Put your company logo on their morning toast. It is the most aggressive, unforgettable corporate promotional gift on the market.

Choose Your Setup

We have toasters on the water

The Selfie Toaster™ ($99.95)

The ultimate starter kit. Includes the toaster hardware and your first custom FacePlate™.

The Jesus Toaster™ ($49.95)

The viral original. Pre-loaded with a miracle, but fully compatible with custom inserts later.

Extra FacePlates™

Already have the hardware? Swap the art out. Upload a new photo and keep the joke going.

Swag Toasters™

Put your company logo on toast. Contact us for bulk pricing on the ultimate promo gift.
The Breakfast Club

Join our VIP loyalty program and get a replacement toaster for life (or at least as long as I own the company). Plus, unlock $35 custom FacePlates™ and earn free rewards with our digital punch cards.

Unlock VIP Perks →